And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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