i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
