id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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