I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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