Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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