so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize