I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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