I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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