And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
