I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
