yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Barsexuality is the new black.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
