It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
