Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
