butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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