i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize