She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
