Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
