So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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