I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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