Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
