I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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