We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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