im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
