please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the condom got lost in my hair
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
