Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
