I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
