Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This toilet bowl is my home.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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