no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
