No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize