its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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