I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
