i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He felt like a one man threesome
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
