I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
