..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
