For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
