Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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