I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
