he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
