Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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