i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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