Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
