i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
