halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
