If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
