He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
