well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
