Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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