If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
