yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
