Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
