I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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