can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
