Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize