my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
